Exorcists have claimed to have destroyed 20 Halloween demons and witches disguised as young children.
“We had a very busy night yesterday. The forces of evil were out in force, particularly in Pembroke and Swieqi,” said president of the Diocesean Commission For The Occult and Satanism, Fr Elias Vella, who heads a team of five other exorcists in Malta.
“The servants of Satan think they are very clever. Every Halloween they disguise themselves as innocent little children who hand out Harry Potter books to real boys and girls to make them turn away from God.
“But some demons are more sloppy than others, and our trained eyes can spot their horns and tails and fangs. Some barely even bother to hide the fact they’re witches ” he added.
Fr Vella said that demons are attracted to sugary substances, so the exorcists lure them into traps with piles of sweets and chocolates.
“Once we’ve apprehended the foul creatures, we put them in sacks, throw them into the back of the Exorcist Mobile (an old Ford Transit) and drive them to Dingli Cliffs.
“After we bless the waters beneath the cliffs, we add heavy wooden crosses to the sacks and fling them over the edge. The wretched fiends never stand a chance.”
Fr Vella said the demons sometimes try to elicit sympathy by crying, whimpering and being reported as missing children.
“But rest assured, they’re definitely denizens of Hell. After all, we’re priests – we know very well what real children look like.”
Meanwhile, in other Halloween-related news, Opposition leader Adrian Delia has said this is how he intends to appear in public from now on:
