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Maltese restaurant earns ‘Not As Good As It Used To Be’ star

Karl Stennienibarra

A Maltese restaurant has won a coveted ‘Not As Good As It Used To Be’ star.

Karla’s Kitchen in Attard earned the all-too-common award – given out by the internationally renowned Meh Food Guide – in recognition for its commitment to slipping standards.

Karla’s opened for lunch and dinner in 2016, and received rave reviews from diners and critics alike after initially delivering on its promise to “completely revolutionise the Maltese food scene.”

“When I first started out, I was determined to serve delicious homemade meals using fresh, locally sourced ingredients, served by friendly staff in a relaxed, comfortable setting,” owner Carla Deguara told Bis-Serjetà while heating a plate of tagliatelle with pulled beef ragù in a microwave.

“Then the harsh economic realities of running a business set in, and over the past three years I’ve slowly started incorporating more bland, pre-cooked meals made with inferior frozen ingredients, served by disinterested, poorly trained staff who can’t speak English or Maltese in a shabby, disorganised environment.

“Also I just couldn’t be arsed anymore.”

Asked what advice she had for other restaurateurs who wanted to disappoint their clientele while still remaining in business, Deguara replied:

“What aspiring entrepreneurs need to realise is that nowadays marketing is more important than the quality of your product. And thanks to social media, it’s easier than ever to create initial hype followed by gradually diminishing reviews.”

“I constantly tell my friends Karla’s isn’t as good as it used to be, but I still come here for lunch because the food looks so good on Instagram”, confirmed longtime customer Lisa Buhagiar.

Meh Food Guide’s chief critic Pierre Marco Black praised Karla’s Kitchen for its pursuit of mediocrity.

“When a restaurant pledges that it’s going to be different to all other restaurant’s, that’s when you know it’s going to gradually turn to shit,” he said.