A Maltese woman has been charged with practising witchcraft.
Nicole Caruana, 28, from Mellieha, was arraigned before magistrate Joe Mifsud this morning, accused of sorcery, necromancy, and consorting with the Devil.
Caruana was escorted into the courtroom with her head covered by a sack to prevent her from giving anyone the evil eye.
Inspector Brian Deguara told the court that the woman had been arrested after she exhibited various witch-like tendencies.
These included owning a black cat, having unnatural blue hair, listening to heavy metal, practising yoga, making a strange potion called kombucha, and openly stating her belief that women should have bodily autonomy.
The prosecution recommended that, due to the danger she posed to society, “especially because of that last one,” the defendant should be denied bail and remanded in custody. Magistrate Mifsud agreed, saying that he had never felt such an evil presence in his courtroom, and that he would have to play an entire Mike Spiteri album to expunge the malevolent aura.
Caruana pleaded not guilty to the charges, with the magistrate commenting that that’s exactly what a witch would say.
The court also ordered the confiscation of the accused’s broomstick to prevent her from fleeing the country, despite Caruana claiming she owned a Roomba.
If found guilty, Caruana could be sentenced to death by burning at the stake.
While attitudes to witchcraft in Europe have been relaxed for several centuries – the UK made it illegal to accuse someone of being a witch in 1735, for example – it is still a law on the books in Malta, together with other medieval laws.
