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Man angry that he can’t blame Maltese government for climate crisis

Karl Stennienibarra

A man is angry that he cannot blame the Maltese government for the climate crisis.

As the country roasts under a so-called heat dome, 24-year-old Samuel Tabone says he is struggling to come to terms with the fact no one in Malta is particularly to blame for rising temperatures across the globe.

“Usually when something goes wrong in this country, it’s a safe bet that it’s the government’s fault. But even the clowns in parliament can’t be blamed for this one,” Tabone told Bis-Serjetà, while acknowledging that the climate crisis was largely the fault of large multinational corporations.

“I did a bit of Googling in the hope of finding at least one CEO of an energy company with a Maltese surname, but no luck.”

Tabone added that, while he was aware that the government lacked an adequate water strategy in the face of impending desertification, while seemingly being hellbent on covering the entire island in concrete, he wanted to vent his anger about the bigger picture.

“As much as I’d love to blame all these wildfires and floods on Ian Borg, I’m a reasonable man.

“I just really need someone to yell at, but we don’t even have any climate-change-denying MPs who I can verbally abuse on Facebook. Just a bunch of mediocre incompetents who tell us to recycle, or catch the bus even though they wouldn’t dream of doing so themselves.”

At the time of writing, Tabone had settled on insulting Aaron Farrugia.

“The freckled twat probably deserves it for something or other,” he said.