Men are being advised to touch penises instead of shaking hands while standing next to each other at urinals, as a way to prevent the spread of the Covid19 coronavirus in Malta.
The recommendation was made by the Superintendence of Public Health.
“I know how you guys are at urinals – shaking hands when you meet someone new, or high-fiving when one of you makes a sexist joke. But we really need to limit contact via the hands right now, so some changes in etiquette are required,” said Superintendent for Public Health Professor Charmaine Gauci at a press conference at Mater Dei this morning.
Explaining her suggestion – which she calls the ‘Bro Bump’ – Prof. Gauci said that men should turn to each towards other and touch penises as a form of greeting.
“If you’re doing the Bro Bump post-urination, just jump up and down to shake your penises dry, as you would normally do, and then gently bump.”
“As an extra precaution, you could also rub your member with hand sanitiser afterwards. If you manage to find any, that is.”
Prof. Gauci reassured men that a temporary amnesty on calling men who touch penises ‘gay’ had been put in place by the authorities.
“No homo, promise. Unless it’s for more than one second and you’re erect, of course,” she said.
Prof Gauci then picked out two journalists – Ivan Martin from The Times, and Tim Diacono from Lovin Malta – to demonstrate the Bro Bump.
