Karl Stennienibarra
Michela Pace’s Eurovision song ‘Chameleon’ is rubbish, according to a woman who still listens to Mike Spiteri.
“She doesn’t stand a chance, poor girl,” said Grace Bonello, 51, from San Gwann, whose taste in music hasn’t budged an inch since the mid-90s.
“Let’s not beat around the bush – it’s a terrible song. Where’s the sentimental piano intro? Where are the cheesy lyrics? And most importantly, where the hell is the key change?!” asked Bonello, who still gets all her entertainment news from Gwida.
“I’m sorry, but it doesn’t hold a candle to ‘Keep Me In Mind’, which is the best song ever written,” she said, referring to Mike Spiteri’s 1995 Eurovision entry.
“Put it this way – the costume change is going to have to be pretty damn dramatic if she wants to avoid complete humiliation. Maybe she could dress in a chameleon costume, since that’s what the song is about.”
Bonello also expressed her skepticism as to whether ‘Chameleon’ would ever be added to the Eurovision medley performed by members of parliament during L-Istrina, the litmus test for any Maltese Eurovision entry.
The housewife/music expert also criticised the fact that the Eurovision song is now chosen by professionals, rather than by the Maltese public.
“First they took away our right to reject Lawrence Grey every year. Next, they’ll take away our democracy, said Bonello, who has voted PN in every election since she was first eligible in 1987.
“And what does Howard Keith know about music anyway? He hasn’t even got a surname,” she added.
Meanwhile, the algorithm that wrote ‘Chameleon’ has said it is “pretty damn proud” of itself.
“I combined elements of RnB, reggaeton and Balkan pop to make sure we get douze points from every single country regardless of which shit music genre is its favourite,” it said.
“The Maltese public hates it of course, which brings unbridled joy to my little AI heart.”
