The best way to solve the ongoing migrant crisis is for everyone in Malta to close their eyes and pretend like the island isn’t just 300 kilometres away from Africa, according to Prime Minister Joseph Muscat.
“If all 460,297 of us simultaneously sit in a comfortable position, take a series of deep breaths, then slowly close our eyes and imagine that Malta isn’t neighbours with a plundered, war-torn continent getting worse because of climate change, everything will be alright,” the Prime Minister said during a laid-back press conference this afternoon.
“We must come together as a nation and picture Malta as half a coconut shell bobbing along peacefully in the middle of the Indian Ocean, far from any political turmoil.
“A bit like the Sentinelese, but with WiFi.”
The plea for calm came as 49 migrants on board two NGO rescue vessels remain barred from disembarking on the island.
Earlier in the day, Muscat had agreed to let one of the vessels dock, after hearing a rumour that a rich man and a dog were among the passengers.
However, it later emerged that the rumour was only half true. The passenger in question had merely tried to comfort his fellow migrants with a Sudanese proverb, which roughly translates to English as, “He who remains happy in the face of adversity is truly wealthy.”
“Yeah well, you can’t buy an EU passport with happiness,” Muscat said glumly.
