The newly rebooted Xummiemu has suffered a mental breakdown after visiting Sliema.
The cartoon hedgehog, who was first created around 30 years ago as the mascot of an anti-littering campaign, was visiting the town as part of a comeback tour around the country.
As Xummiemu walked along the Sliema seafront with a delegation from the Ministry of Tourism, which spearheaded his return, he became visibly disturbed by the piles of black bags and loose rubbish he saw strewn around.
“What the hell happened? The worst thing I saw back in the 90s was a fridge-freezer dumped in a valley, but this… where does all this trash come from? Mountains of rubbish wherever you look. The horror, the horror,” he said.
Xummiemu then curled up into a ball and began mumbling.
“God has abandoned this place. Please, kill me, or put me back in the cryogenic chamber so I can continue my peaceful slumber,” he muttered.
After a few minutes, the hedgehog came to his senses, grabbed Minister Clayton Bartolo by his jacket and demanded to know who was to blame for the “trash apocalypse”.
“It’s the foreigners. They come here and throw rubbish everywhere, not like us responsible Maltese people who watched you when we were kids,” Bartolo replied.
“Very well. I know what must be done. We shall gather all these foreigners together, perhaps in some sort of camp, and then dispose of them accordingly. Only then will Malta be cleansed, ” Xummiemu declared, before goose-stepping away.
“Well, it’s a good thing we didn’t take him to Comino in summer,” Bartolo said.
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