Only people who are ugly should wear face masks, according to Health Minister Chris Fearne.
Fearne made the statement this morning from his office at the Ministry for Health in Valletta.
“A lot of people have been asking me whether or not they should wear a face mask. I would like to clarify that the current recommendation from the local health authorities is that you should only wear a face mask if you are ugly,” the minister said.
“This will reduce the risk of people seeing your ugly mug and getting upset as a result.”
Asked by journalists via video call to elaborate on what level of ugliness would require the wearing of a mask, Fearne said:
“U le I’m not expecting anyone who isn’t perfect to wear one. If your teeth are slightly crooked or you have a bit of a Roman nose like I do, or you’re probably fine. But if a baby starts crying when it sees you, then that’s a sure sign you need to be wearing a mask.”
Fearne added that, due to the current shortage of masks, a brown paper bag could be used instead.
‘Simply put it over your head, and you will be ensuring that we keep the ugliness rate in this country at a manageable level. Remember, we can cope with a river of unattractiveness, but not a tsunami of hideousness.
“And please refrain from cutting out eye holes in case you’re severely cross-eyed or something. We can’t be too careful,” he concluded.
