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Police powerless to stop massive orgy at Joe Mizzi’s house

Karl Stennieniġewwa

A ‘massive’ orgy currently taking place at the home of former transport minister Joe Mizzi is technically legal and cannot be stopped, police have confirmed.

Around 50 people – including both Labour and PN MPs – are thought to be attending the sex party at Mizzi’s home in Kalkara, which started last Friday and shows no signs of abating.

However, as it is being held in a private residence, the marathon orgy does not break the social-distancing laws put in place by the government to prevent the spread of Covid-19.

“I’m afraid our hands are tied, and not in a good way like what’s probably happening in Joe Mizzi’s house right now,” a police spokesperson told Bis-Serjetà.

“Unless we have reason to suspect that drugs are being taken or other illicit activities taking place, then Mr Mizzi is free to carry on having sex with as many people as he likes,” he added.

Mizzi himself reassured people that all necessary precautions were being taken to protect guests from the coronavirus.

“It’s all groovy, man. Everyone’s wearing a face mask and a bottle of hand sanitiser is being handed out with every packet of condoms,” he told journalists this morning, after emerging from his house wearing a leopard-print thong.

“I tell you something – my life is a lot less stressful since I was booted out of the cabinet. Cheers, Bobby,” he added, before being pulled back inside by an attractive blonde woman.

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