The general public is being advised to move into World War 2 air raid shelters across the island until all construction projects have been completed.
The government made the recommendation after holding talks with developers and other stakeholders in the construction industry last week.
“While people want to be reassured that they won’t be buried alive in their own homes at any moment because a cowboy in an excavator got too close to their outer wall, this is something that we as a government are unable to provide,” Prime Minister Joseph Muscat said during a press conference earlier this afternoon.
“I know I heroically called a halt to all demolition and excavation last week, but obviously that can’t last forever, otherwise developers will be angry, and under no circumstances can we make developers angry and threaten Growth.”
“Praise be to Growth! Praise be to Growth!” repeated other Government officials and One News reporters present at the press conference.
“Therefore,” Muscat continued, “following a brilliant suggestion made by Sandro Chetcuti, we are urging everyone in Malta to increase their chances of survival by making their way to their nearest surviving World War 2 shelter and staying there until all construction projects big and small are completed some time this century.
Muscat added that there were various benefits to living a subterranean lifestyle.
“Thanks to the cool temperatures in these shelters, people won’t have to spend money on powering their air conditioners in summer. You see, this Government is constantly working to bring people’s electricity bills down,” he said.
When asked what would happen in winter, Muscat said winter was a myth created by the Nationalist Party to scare people and tarnish Malta’s reputation abroad.
“Furthermore, the cramped conditions and all the resulting discomfort and disease will serve to remind people of how difficult life was in Malta before March 2013.”
