Racist Maltese uncles are set to be particularly outspoken at this year’s Christmas lunches.
The forecast was made by Professor Imona Jetski from the American University of Malta.
“This year has been defined by an uptick in bigotry to the point where it’s almost become normalised, so you can expect your racist uncle to feel comfortable in spouting his hateful views when he comes over for Christmas lunch,” Prof. Jetski said.
“You’ll almost certainly be forced to listen to him complain about buses being crammed full of Indians who stink of curry, even though he hasn’t caught a bus in years. Or that places like Bugibba and Hamrun are no longer safe because of black and Arabic people, despite the vast majority of them being law-abiding citizens. He’ll probably even have a problem with Filipino cashiers being too polite.
“And of course you’ll be hearing about how Norman Lowell was right all along and how he’ll vote for him in the European Parliament elections next year. Only in those elections though, because otherwise he supports Labour even though they were the ones who brought about the massive influx in foreign workers.”
“On the plus side, at least he probably won’t be talking about how vaccines contain microchips this year.”
Prof Jetski offered some strategies for dealing with a racist uncle.
“If you want to go down the non-confrontational route, you could just nod and say ‘Hekk hu’ to anything he says, like you would with a Maltese taxi driver. But if you want to stir shit, there are a few things you could do. If you’re the one doing the cooking, you could make the lunch entirely out of ethnic dishes, the spicier the better. Having Middle Eastern music playing in the background is also a must.
“If he’s hosting the lunch and he’s devoutly Catholic, which is probably the case, replace all the figurines in his presepju with the black king. Whatever you decide to do, good luck and remember you won’t have to see him until next Christmas, which is long enough for you to get an Indian girlfriend or boyfriend to really set him off.”
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