Satan has confirmed speaker Anglu Farrugia’s testimony that he had an office on the fourth floor of the Labour Party’s headquarters.
During his testimony at the public inquiry into the murder of Daphne Caruana Galizia, Farrugia said that various businessmen regularly visited Labour HQ in Hamrun in the run up to the 2013 election.
He also claimed that several influential people had offices there, including Malta Developers Association chairman Sandro Chetcuti, and the Devil himself.
“Yes, it’s true. I had an office at Mile End,” His Infernal Majesty told Bis-Serjetà.
“It was right next to Sandro Chetcuti’s. I tell you, that man farts up a storm after lunch. You’d think that I, Satan, Lord of Hell would be used to the smell of sulphur, but he used to almost knock me unconscious when he’d let one rip after a kebab.”
Asked why he had an office at Labour HQ, Satan said:
“To negotiate my deal with Joseph Muscat, of course. He sold Labour’s soul to me, in return for landslide electoral wins, a magical unchanging bank balance, and the services of one of my top lieutenants, Keith Schembri.
Satan added that he would never return Labour’s soul.
“No way. I bought it fair and square. Labour members knew what they were getting into, no matter how much they cry and plead ignorance now. And nothing will change that, regardless of who is elected leader.
“Having said that, personally I prefer Robert Abela because I could see myself having a beer with him. Fearne seems a bit boring if you ask me. But the important thing is that the soul is mine and no one’s taking it away.”
