The sea slime that has been washing ashore in the north of Malta is just whale semen, according to Environment Minister José Herrera.
The frothy white foam once again appeared in the Sliema, St Julians and Coast Road areas in recent days, but Herrera insists there is nothing to worry about.
“I asked fish farm operators whether they were responsible for the sea slime, but they reassured me it’s nothing more than the seminal fluid of whales,” the minister told Bis-Serjetà.
“You see, right now is mating season for whales. But in recent years lady whales haven’t been putting out as much because of #MeToo. So all these horny male whales have been getting very sexually frustrated and dry-humping the hulls of ships. This means that all the whale spunk ends up floating in the sea instead of inside whale pussy,” Herrera explained.
“When the fish farm operators told me all this, I was a bit sceptical. But then they told me to taste it for myself from a bucket they’d collected, and I was like, “Yep, that’s whale jizz alright.”
Herrera encouraged restaurants in Sliema and St Julians to help solve the issues by serving the ‘slime’ to their customers.
“Whale cum is high in protein and make a nice change from the human semen that Sliema people are so used to guzzling,” he said.
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