Systems of Knowledge – the eclectic course currently taught at sixth form level – will be replaced by Systems of Ignorance as from the next scholastic year, the chairman of the Matsec board announced today.
Matsec believes the change is necessary for young people to be better equipped to handle the realities of 21st century Malta.
“Let’s face it, these days no one needs to learn about Ancient Greek philosophers, Renaissance art and the science behind climate change. The reality is that the less you know, the higher your chances of getting a leadership role will be,” Matsec chairman Frank Ventura said.
Instead of Plato and Da Vinci, students will learn about such subjects as:
- The history of parking illegally
- The art of littering
- Looking Out For Number One 101
- Public speaking for demagogues
- The basics of nepotism
- Geography For People Who Tell Foreigners To Go Back To Their Country
- Creative writing in a way that’s racist but not overtly so
Not all aspects of the course will change so drastically, however.
“We’re still keeping the project element of the course, so students at Junior College will still be able to submit projects made by their dads to be judged arbitrarily by a creepy old pervert in a shed,” Ventura said.
“But instead of a model of a historical building or science experiment, students will need to submit a scale model of a soulless block of flats, a petrol station, supermarket or similar. The written part of the project will consist of a report on how best to bribe PA officials.”
