The State of Malta has published a report in which the country’s institutions describe themselves as being ‘super awesome’.
The 500-page report was co-authored by Prime Minister Robert Abela, Chief Justice Mark Chetcuti, Speaker of the House Anġlu Farrugia, and President George Vella.
“Following a lengthy investigation, during which all branches of the State were carefully examined, we the authors conclude that Malta is super awesome and the best state in the world,” the report’s summary read.
“Our government runs the country in a transparent manner that puts common citizens first; our judiciary delivers judgements that are fair and timely; our parliament is a place of mature debate, and office of the President keeps a watchful eye over the other institutions, holding them to account when it needs to.
“In short, our country is a shining example of how a free democratic state should be, and anyone who says otherwise is a bitter Nationalist and a traitor.”
The report recommends that Malta should carry on being super awesome, and for its citizens to once again vote for the Labour party.
“Ideally with a two-thirds majority in parliament so the current government can make the country even more super awesome.”
The final page of the report consists of several clip-art images of lemons.
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