Karl Stennienibarra
A Swedish igaming worker has travelled beyond Gzira for the first time since moving to Malta five years ago.
27-year-old web developer Sven Svensson lives in St Julian’s and works for MegaBettingSlots in Sliema. His girlfriend lives in Swieqi.
“When I first moved over in 2014, I showed a map of Malta to the elders and asked if there was anything to do in places like Valletta and Imdina.
“They said it was dangerous to travel so far because there were trolls and dwarves who would trick me out of my money quicker than a stripper at Steam. And if I strayed off the path I might end up in some god-forsaken place like Qormi,” said the intrepid Swede.
Mr Svensson followed this advice for five years, content to limit his adventures to getting shit-faced at Black Gold, then Funky Monkey on Manoel Island.
“If I was feeling really adventurous I would go to Good Thaimes, but no further,” he said.
Following the news that Funky Monkey would be closing its doors forever later this month, Mr Svensson decided the time had come to take a leap into the unknown.
“So last Saturday I put on my shorts, long-sleeve shirt and deck shoes. I told my girlfriend I loved her and she gave me her magical Fjällräven Kånken backpack for good luck. Then I left to see what was out there.”
Mr Svensson said his journey across the island was difficult but rewarding.
“I wanted to really rough it, so I decided to catch a bus. This was a challenge because I normally just take a taxi everywhere. I was shocked when the bus was one minute late. This would make the national news if it happened in Stockholm.”
But Mr Svensson got going eventually, and says that along his journey he met lots of interesting natives who spoke in a strange tongue. “Even stranger than Danish,” he emphasised.
“In Bormla, I heard the saga of a mighty warrior called Dom Mintoff.
“In Rabat, I was given food the locals said would make me immortal at a place called Serkin. They also served me tea in a glass. My ancestors drank mead out of human skulls, but I still found this more disturbing.”
“And in Mgarr, I was shown a statue of their strawberry god.
“I felt like Odin travelling through the nine worlds in search of knowledge,” he said.
Mr Svensson said he is already preparing for his next adventure.
“The natives tell of another island across the sea, even weirder than this one. That is where I shall go next,” he said.
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