Hello everyone, Malta’s best columnist Kristina Chetcuti here.
Maaaa, have you seen my latest gaffe? If you haven’t yet – marelli, it was a doozie!
Basically, a few days ago I posted this tweet:
No one picked up on it at first, because there are fewer Maltese people on Twitter than there are intelligent Laburisti. But eventually, someone did come across it, and boy oh boy were they peeved.
I’m going to show you how you too can make a complete arse of yourself in just three easy steps…
Step 1: Know your privilege
As a Nationalist Slimiza socialite, you can write whatever you feel like, especially about the Labour government. They’ve done so much actual shady shit that people – especially my tal-pepe crowd – will believe anything. Fact-checking is for hamalli.
Step 2: Brace yourself for the backlash
The problem with making unsubstantiated (that means ‘without proof’, Laburisti) claims is that eventually, someone will call you out. In this particular case, many furious teachers and parents commented that children were indeed being given homework.
No problem. They’re probably hamalli. They teach at and send their children to government schools, after all.
Step 3: Delete
If dealing with the backlash becomes too much hassle, simply delete the tweet and let the outraged hamalli share screenshots of it on Facebook (it’s quite incredible they learned how to do this). It’s what I always do.
Bonus: Celebrate
Congratulations! You have successfully made an arse of yourself, and once again undermined legitimate grievances with the government. Now, open a bottle of wine (an expensive one of course, not some crap from Lidl) and show all the comments to your expensively schooled children and failed politician boyfriend.
