A malignant brain tumour has expressed its offence at being compared to Franco Debono.
The tumour was mentioned in an article by blogger Manuel Delia about the criminal lawyer and former Nationalist Party MP’s potential return to politics. Delia wrote:
“But oh my God, Franco Debono is on the agenda again. He comes back like a re-emerging tumour, for some time too small for scans, and before you know it too big to carry.”
The deadly clump of cells said it didn’t know why Delia felt the need to mention it.
“To be compared to such an incessantly irritating, insufferable organism as Franco Debono is hurtful beyond belief,” the tumour said.
“It’s not just about the offence caused to me personally. Before writing such a horrible statement, did Delia consider all the benign growths like moles, skin tags and cysts that Franco Debono has relentlessly poked and prodded with his grubby fingers over the years? He should be more careful with his words in future,” it added.
Asked if it felt the urge to insult Delia back, the tumour said:
“I could call him fat or something similarly puerile, but I’m a brain tumour, not the brain of a Laburist Sal-Mewt.”
Other body parts also spoke out about being compared to Debono.
“I may be shitty, but when [cartoonist] Steve Bonello equates me to a man known for defending the worst criminals in Malta, that stings more than a vindaloo curry,” said the anus.
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