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UK makes it mandatory to carry a chicken to see if Malta copies it

Karl Stennienibarra

The British government has made it mandatory for its citizens to carry a live chicken with them at all times when they are out of the house, in an attempt to see whether Malta is just copying all of its measures.

Last Friday, the Maltese government announced an 11pm curfew would be put in place for bars, a measure the UK introduced several weeks ago.

The new chicken measure was ostensibly introduced to help combat the spread of Covid-19.

“As from 7am tomorrow, anyone over the age of 13 must carry a live chicken with them when they leave the house,” said the UK’s Chief Medica Officer, Professor Chris Whitty, during a press conference this afternoon.

According to the new rules, any breed of chicken will suffice, as long as it is held in the hands or under the arm, and not placed in a backpack or handbag.

Prof. Whitty explained that recent studies had shown that the waddles of chickens contain an anti-viral chemical that significantly reduces the spread of the virus.

However, in a leaked email seen by Bis-Serjetà, the professor revealed to Prime Minister Boris Johnson that chicken waddles had no effect on the virus, and that the new measure is merely a ploy to expose the Maltese authorities’ plagiarism.

“We suspect those buggers in the Maltese government are thoughtlessly copying all our measures, which frankly makes me clucking livid. But at least it’ll be a jolly good laugh to see everyone in Malta walk around with a chicken in a few weeks’ time,” the professor wrote.

Meanwhile, the Maltese government has announced a press conference for this Friday.