The US is sending a specialist team of Thoughts And Prayers to Malta to help deal with the aftermath of a fatal house collapse in Hamrun.
American Thoughts And Prayers are usually dispatched after one of the country’s regular mass shootings. But in the wake of the Hamrun collapse, which killed mother-of-two Miriam Pace, some Thoughts And Prayers will be sent to Malta following a request by the Maltese government.
“As we saw yesterday when people on Facebook were saying ‘May God bring her out alive’, God does not listen to Maltese prayers as you are only a tiny country whose squeaks He can barely hear. You need some American prayer firepower to deal with this terrible tragedy,” said Thoughts And Prayers supervisor Chet Swinson.
Asked what further action could be taken to prevent similar incidents from happening again, Swinson said:
“Nothing. Thoughts and prayers are all you need. Everyone feels better when they give their thoughts and prayers to the victims. Except for the victims, of course, but they’re with God now. Unless they were wicked sinners, in which case they’re burning in Hell. And if they are burning in Hell, our thoughts and prayers go out to them.”
