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Water polo player blames poor performance on single unshaven pube

Karl Stennienibarra

Neptunes player Robert Attard has blamed his poor performance during his team’s shock defeat against San Ġiljan on a single pubic hair he neglected to shave.

The champions lost the game 13-10, with Attard looking particularly off the pace as he repeatedly lost possession.

“When the game ended, I couldn’t explain why I played so badly. Then I headed to the showers and I looked down, and there it was: a single curly pube I had missed while shaving,” he told Bis-Serjetà.

The Neptunes star explained that the solitary pube made him less aquadynamic.

“In water polo, as with any sport, it’s all about fine margins. That errant pube increased my drag in the pool, which meant I couldn’t glide through the water and jump like a hungry killer whale, as I normally do.

“It’s for this reason that us water polo players go through great efforts to remove every last hair from our bodies. It’s almost as essential as actual training.”

Indeed, the Aquatic Sports Association has strict rules on hair removal, with only razors and trimmers being allowed.

Last season, Sirens goalkeeper Simon Deguara was suspended for five matches for illegally waxing his anus.