The weather has been told in no uncertain terms to sort itself out in June.
“Honestly, I don’t know what the fuck is going on,” said meteorologist Simon Briffa, referring to the wetter-than-usual weather that has characterised this past month.
Mr Briffa said the rain could be due to the effects of climate change, a message from God, or because he moved to Manchester without realising.
“Unlike what most people think, I don’t have the power to change the weather. But if I could, I’d tell it to get a grip, sort itself out, and get on with the uninterrupted sunshine we know and love.
“I don’t want it to be too hot, though. I hate feeling like I’m in Satan’s asshole.”
