Xarabank will be replaced by a show in which chimpanzees throw shit at each other, TVM announced today.
Last week, Xarabank host Peppi Azzopardi revealed his popular discussion show had been cancelled after 23 years on the air.
While many feared the show was axed so it could be replaced by a less neutral, more government-friendly show, TVM executives insisted this would not be the case.
“While we feel that Xarabank was well past its sell-by date, we also recognise that it was immensely popular. So instead of replacing it with a discussion show that deals with important topics in a mature, civilised way, we’re going to stick to what Maltese people love and have a panel of chimpanzees howling incessantly and throwing their shit at each other for two hours straight, and then call it a debate,” a spokesperson for TVM told Bis-Serjetà.
To add some variety, the shit-flinging chimps will be dressed in different costumes, depending on the topic being discussed.
“On any given show you might have chimps dressed as priests, fortune tellers, teenagers who ran over policemen, Bernard Grech, or Robert Musumeci. This is just a cosmetic touch, though. The important thing is that they relentlessly pelt each other with excrement.”
The spokesperson said TVM had not yet found a host for the show.
“We approached Mark Lawrence Zammit but he said he didn’t want his hair covered in shit.
