Yellling ‘Aqtagħha għax nifqagħlek snienek!’ (‘cut it out or I’ll smash your teeth in!’) at your own children in public has been voted as the best parenting technique by Maltese mums and dads.
The aggressive admonition was the highest ranked choice in a poll conducted by the Maltese Parents Association (MPA), proving more popular than more well-known techniques like positive reinforcement, avoiding negative emotional reactions and setting a good example.
“Threatening your own children with extreme violence while the people around you pretend not to hear is a great way to get them to behave, and will definitely not lead to them having severe mental health issues when they grow up,” said MPA president Dorianne Galea.
“And if your children don’t obey and you’re forced to punch them in their bratty little faces, you’ll only be knocking out their baby teeth. This is a better option than breaking their limbs or neck, especially if social services decide to stick their noses in.”
Galea also recommended that mothers whose marriages were passing through difficult times should yell, “F’għoxx missierek dak id-demel.”
“It’s cheaper than couples’ therapy,” she added.
However, Galea warned that not all verbal threats work equally well.
Take “Biżżejjed għax insabbtek m’Alla!’ (‘Shut up or I’ll slam you against God!’), for example. Even if you scream it at the top of your lungs, it might not have the desired effect because children are too young to understand the theological implications of your threat.
“Having said that, ‘Jekk taqa’ nkompli ntik’ (‘If you fall down, I’ll carry on hitting you’), is another great one. It’s just a shame that using a belt is frowned upon these days,” she said.
Galea also had advice for parents from places like Sliema.
“While English can never compete with Maltese when it comes to sheer brutality, yelling “Maaaaaa I don’t even know why I had you in the first place, like” will do the trick nicely.”
