Police Commissioner Angelo Gafà has offered the entirety of this week’s record-breaking cocaine haul to anyone who can get him a PS5.
Finance Minister Clyde Caruana announced in parliament yesterday that customs officials had seized 612 kg of cocaine worth an estimated €70 million.
When asked during a press conference this morning what would happen to the haul, Commissioner Gafà replied:
“Normally we would treat it as evidence and keep it stored in a secure location. But if anyone who’s present here or watching on Facebook can get me a PS5, I’ll happily trade you for it.”
Gafà explained that he had pre-ordered the latest Playstation from Scan, but had been left disappointed after the store had failed to import enough stock to meet demand.
“Now everyone’s selling them for silly money and expecting me to wait till March. Fuck that. After all the work I’ve done since being appointed, I deserve to play Cyberpunk 2077 right now,” he said.
“Come on man, this is some Grade A Colombian nose candy. You could get really good money for it,” Gafà added before passing a small bag around the room for journalists to test the quality of the drugs.
Asked whether international law enforcement agencies condoned the swap deal, Gafà said Europol director Catherine De Bolle agreed it was unfair that she had already finished Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, while Gafà was yet to even play it.
“I just need my fix, man,” Gafà said while visibly trembling.
