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Aaron Farrugia solves climate change after Cop26 leaders agree to build massive green wall

Karl Stennienibarra

World leaders attending the UN Climate Change Conference (Cop26) in Glasgow have praised Maltese environment minister Aaron Farrugia, after he suggested constructing a massive green wall to avert the climate crisis.

The summit risked ending in failure after leaders could not agree on a path towards securing global net-zero on carbon emissions by 2050 and stopping the planet’s temperature from increasing more than 1.5 degrees celsius by the end of the century.

However, Farrugia stepped in at the last minute to save the day with an impromptu speech.

“We don’t have to stop giving subsidies to the fossil fuel industry that props up so many of us present here, or move away from the constant-growth model, or, God forbid, dismantle capitalism,” Farrugia began.

“Instead, we can build a single green wall – a really big one, as big as a skyscraper and as long as the Great Wall Of China, visible from miles around so everyone can see how hard we’re working to prevent a global catastrophe,” he said, adding that the green wall could be built on agricultural land so as not to take up precious urban real estate.

Following a standing ovation for Farrugia, all countries represented at the summit signed a pledge to build the International Green Wall Of Aaron by 2050.

Before returning to Malta on a private jet, Farrugia attended a banquet where leaders feasted on meat dishes and gave each other congratulatory hand jobs.

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