Buġibba to sue Matt Bonanno

    Karl Stennienibarra

    The town of Buġibba has announced its intention to sue Matt Bonanno for comments made in a Facebook post this time last year.

    The seaside town joins religious group River Of Love in taking legal action against Bonanno, who, despite bearing an uncanny resemblance to Bis-Serjetà god-editor Karl Stenneinibarra, is not related.

    Replying to a comment by a friend who suggested Malta could not afford a sustained aerial bombing campaign on Żebbuġ, the town where River Of Love was headquartered at the time, Bonanno said he liked Żebbuġ and that instead the authorities should “move River Of Love to Buġibba and carpet bomb. Two birds with one stone.”

    In a statement, the Buġibba Residents Association said Bonanno’s words were dangerous and could cause harm to the town.

    “Just to be clear, we aren’t suing Bonanno for saying Buġibba should be carpet bombed. That would be ridiculous as neither he nor anyone else on the island has the means to carpet bomb a village square, let alone an entire town. Also we have thicker skin than that and understand the concepts of irony and hyperbole,” a spokesperson for the group said.

    “No, we’re suing him because he threatened to move River Of Love here. Our town has enough problems without [Gordon] Manche and his merry band of brainwashed, homophobic Jesus freaks showing up and singing their stupid worship songs.

    The spokesperson said that if River Of Love ever signalled its intention to relocate to Buġibba, the residents were prepared to take drastic measures.

    “We’d be the first to procure a B-52 and preemptively reduce the town to rubble in a desperate act of scorched earth.”

    “Give us 100 drunken English chavs all singing Sweet Caroline over one River Of Love member.”

    Yes I am actually being taken to court

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