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eCabs to give men option to choose driver who will listen to their privileged whining

Karl Stennienibarra

eCabs has announced it will give men the option to choose a taxi driver who will lend a sympathetic ear to their privileged whining.

The cab company will introduce the ‘Whine+’ feature, which will be rolled out next week, following widespread outrage among men at its decision to give women the option to choose a female driver.

“We want to cater to everyone, including men who disregard the lived experiences of women and complain they’re being discriminated against by a feature that does not affect them in any way whatsoever,” said eCabs CEO Andrew Bezzina.

Bezzina said the company was training a number of its drivers to nod, smile and express agreement with male customers who were angry at the idea of women wanting to reduce the risk of being harassed, or worse.

The drivers will also learn prompts in response to phrases such as ‘So much for gender equality!’; ‘Does this mean women assume I’m a rapist?’ and ‘What if it’s a male driver who identifies as a woman?’

“Above all, drivers must make these men feel like they’re in a safe space where everything is all about them. Under no circumstances are they allowed to call the passenger a whiny little bitch, even though that’s what they are.”

The Whine+ cabs will also include a box of tissues in case they want to have a little cry, a packet of sweets and a photo of Jordan Peterson.