I’ve been seeing a lot of comments about the flower boxes I recently placed in Freedom Square, which will now be there permanently.
A lot of these comments have been negative, which leads me to ask – how dare you? How dare you hate my pretty flowers?
First you moan about the lack of greenery in urban centres, and then when I give you beautiful wooden boxes full of colourful flowers, you pour scorn on them. You ungrateful bastards are never happy with anything.
“But Jason, the flower boxes don’t complement the design of the square or its surrounding architecture.”
Give me a break. That square was horrible before my intervention. No decorations, no flashing lights, no pizazz. Just bare stone, lines and symmetry. Yuck. Renzo Piano doesn’t have a clue.
“But they look cheap and tacky.”
“Cheap?! Tacky?! Are you suggesting that I, Jason Micallef, the man behind the Infiorata and the Pageant Of The Seas, the man who has done more for Valletta than any Grandmaster, has no taste? Do you think a man with my qualifications – that is, being a former gardening show presenter on Super One – would be capable of creating anything that isn’t the epitome of good design?
I know what the problem is. It’s not just a personal attack against me. It’s because I’m a Labourite. “How dare this ħamallu think he can improve on a world-famous architect’s work?” If I were a Nationalist, you’d be singing my praises and asking for wooden flower pots in every famous square in Malta.
But no, I’m a champion of the working class, a hero of the proletariat, so all I deserve is contempt. Marx would’ve loved my flowers, but not you fascists.
I’m done with your constant negativity. You all need therapy, like Maltatoday editor Matthew Vella.
I sure showed him. I hope everyone else who criticises me gets the psychological help they need, since anyone who doesn’t recognise my genius must be a tulip short of an infiorata.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting to discuss the Valletta Wine Mixed With Soft Drinks Festival.
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