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I’m back, bitches – by Neville Gafà

Neville Gafà

Hey bitches. Guess who’s back? It’s me, Nev Nev.

Did you think just because my boo thang Joseph and my bestie Keith were out of the picture, I would be too? Well, think again. You don’t get rid of the Gafster that easily.

‘What have you been up to since you were booted out of government?’ I hear you ask. Oh you know, not much. Taking a few selfies, but mainly working for the government.

What? Yeah, those guys can’t live without me. I’m just too good at my job of breaking international law. When there’s a migrant ship that needs to be illegally turned back to Libya, I’m the best in the business.

What’s my secret? Simple really – because I operate in the shadows, I don’t have to pay attention to such annoying things as protocols and conventions. I’m like a character out of Homeland, but twice as badass.

And even if ‘Lil Bobby didn’t want me around, I’d still turn up because I’m Joseph’s special boy and I do what I want.

Some people think I do all this for the money, but it’s definitely for the love of my country. Just like when I scammed those war-wounded Libyans a few years back. Malta ħanina, medical visa, as they say in North Africa.

Anywho, I’ve got to go give a foot massage to Keith. Later bitches!