Education minister Owen Bonnici says he intends to publish the Covid-19 guidelines for schools the night before school starts.
Hundreds of teachers around the country are waiting to learn how they will be expected to deliver lessons when they and their students return from summer holidays in less than a month’s time.
“There’s no need to panic. I’ve got a whole month left to finish this thing. How hard can it be?” Bonnici told Bis-Serjetà.
“Social distancing, face masks, hand sanitiser, and a bit of filler text. Boom, job done. And if I really have to I’ll chug a couple of Red Bulls and pull an all-nighter. Or better yet, I’ll just copy another country’s work.”
Asked why he had not yet consulted any teachers, Bonnici said:
“Teachers think they know best, but it’s the children we really need to be listening to. Like the other day, my kids asked if they could have a plate of M&Ms for dinner and I said, ‘Sure, great idea!’ Then there’s the parents of course, and they’re all like ‘take our little shits off us now!’ How can ignore such a compelling argument?”
As a contingency plan in the event that he failed to deliver the new regulations, Bonnici said he would pretend to be sick.
“And if that doesn’t work, I’ll do what Julia Farrugia Portelli did and blame the ‘fluid situation’ and other people. If she’s still in a job, I have nothing to worry about,” he said.
