Karl Stennienibarra
The Prime Minister has suddenly realised he has forgotten all about Education, right after closing his eyes to go to sleep this evening.
“Oh Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck,” muttered Muscat as his eyes widened in terror and the full extent of his oversight began to dawn on him.
“I totally forgot the Government is responsible for the public education system. Oh man, the teachers are going to be so angry with me tomorrow morning,” a distraught Muscat said.
Leaping from his bed in a frenzy, Muscat took out his diary from his briefcase and began scanning his list of assignments.
“Increase teachers’ pay…recruit more teachers…invest in schools…build more schools…reform the system… oh God I’m never going to get all this done by tonight!” he yelled, wild-eyed.
“I got so distracted playing with hoteliers and Blockchain evangelists. Why did no one remind me about Education?! Now the teachers are going to be all like, “You’ve had six years to work on this, you should have been more organised bla bla bla…
“I know! I’ll call Varist. But I haven’t seen or heard from him since he went on one of his walks three months ago. I wonder if he’s lost, or worse…” pondered Muscat before making a mental note to send his Education Minister a message at some point.
“Maybe I can get Michelle or the kids to help. But they don’t understand Education. Oh Jesus Christ why am I such a fuck-up?” Muscat cried while repeatedly banging his head on his desk.
Muscat then resolved to tell teachers that Habiba Perla, the family dog, had eaten all his plans for the sector, before hitting on what he perceived to be a better idea.
“I know, I’ll just copy the UK’s work in the car on the way to Castille. I’ll just change a few details and no one will ever notice,” concluded the now-relaxed Prime Minister before going back to bed, seemingly forgetting that the UK has been at home ill for the past few months.
