A study published today suggests it would be better for all concerned if Malta were to be reclaimed by the Mediterranean Sea.
Land reclamation has once again been touted by new Infrastructure Minister Aaron Farrugia as a solution to Malta’s overcrowding problem.
However, research carried out by The American University of Malta suggests a better alternative would be for the country to go the way of Atlantis.
“It really is quite obvious when you stop and think about it,” said Professor Imona Jetski, who led the study.
“If Malta were to sink beneath the waves forever, there will be no corruption, no more over-development, no more air pollution, no more Sliema…
“And it would remove the need for a tunnel between Malta and Gozo because both islands would now be underwater.”
Prof. Jetski added that, while the study looked at other options, such as dropping a nuclear bomb or unleashing a deadly pathogen, total aquatic submersion was the best way forward.
“Yes, a few hundred thousand people will drown, but on the plus side we’ll never have to hear another argument about whether taking part in Eurovision is worth it,” she added.
Asked how the study’s recommendation could be implemented, Prof. Jetski replied, “We could let rising sea levels do the job, but that will probably take a while.
A quicker alternative would be for everyone in Malta to grab some heavy machinery and dig downwards until the water washes over everything and cleanses all our wrongdoings.”