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This week was just a taster, Malta’s idiots confirm

Karl Stennienibarra

The fearmongering and stockpiling caused by Coronavirus hysteria in the past few days were just a taster of things to come, Malta’s idiots have confirmed.

Supermarkets across the country were emptied by panic-buyers on Tuesday, following the news that Covid-19 had made it to Sicily after hundreds of cases were confirmed in northern Italy.

The situation was arguably aggravated by social media, where rumours and false information spread like wildfire.

“If you thought Tuesday was bad, just wait till the first case of the virus is confirmed in Malta. When that happens, then you’ll see some proper stupidity,” said idiot John Mercieca, from Zabbar.

“I’m talking more fake news, religious fanaticism, conspiracy theories and racism than ever before. It’s gonna be wild. I myself intend to start a cult that believes the virus was created by black people and the only person who can cure it is Eileen Montesin,” he added.

“Once the virus arrives I think it’s important to keep people informed by posting any rumour you hear onto Facebook and insisting everything the authorities say is a lie,” said fellow cretin, Anne Zammit from Iklin.

“When the first person in Malta gets Covid-19 I’m driving straight to my nearest Lidl and stockpiling not just all the food but also kidnapping the staff at gunpoint and imprisoning them in my basement,” said Steven Theuma, another moron from St Paul’s Bay.

Meanwhile, William Hawk – the founder of the Facebook group ‘CoronaVirus Malta EU Updates (William Hawk)’- has announced he is building a virus-proof bunker in Madliena. Only those who demonstrate the highest levels of stupidity will be allowed to enter the so-called ‘Hawk’s Nest’.