Karl Stennienibarra has been suspended from his role as managing editor of Bis-Serjetà with immediate effect, after a typo was found in an article published on the serious news website.
The disgusting error – the use of ‘its’ instead of ‘it’s’ – appeared earlier this week in an article written by Bis-Serjetà’s Clickbait Algorithm, entitled Five Awesome Benefits of Homelessness.
In a statement released online, Mr Stennienibarra apologised for his negligence.
“I mistakenly assumed that because the article was written by a complex set of mathematical instructions that has inexplicably evolved to sound like a callous, vapid millennial who went to St Martin’s, there was no need to proofread it for spelling and grammar.
“I only scanned the article for excessive use of gifs and hashtags, and for that, I am truly sorry,” Stennienibarra added.
Speaking outside Bis-Serjetà’s headquarters in Għarb, Gozo, the website’s main financial backer George Soros told satirical reporters, “Here at Bis-Serjetà, we take typographical errors very seriously.”
“Think of how seriously the Maltese government takes blatant cases of systemic corruption. That’s how serious.
“Therefore, I hereby suspend Mr Stennienibarra for an entire weekend with full pay and a trip around the Greek islands on board my luxury yacht so he can think about what he’s done.”
The billionaire investor thanked readers for their eagle-eyed vision, saying those who sent messages pointing out the error “definitely do not need to find a hobby and are probably getting laid every night.”
Mr Soros also denied the public announcement of Mr Stennienibarra’s suspension was a cheap attempt to get more people to read the under-performing article.
“Even though it is really good and should’ve gotten more views,” Mr Soros concluded.
Mr Stennienibarra has been temporarily replaced by a news-writing algorithm, which wrote this article.
Prepare to die, humans.
