Last week, a video of a heated argument between a Maltese landlady and her French tenant went viral on social media.
In the video, the landlady expresses her outrage at the presence of a dildo, uttering the immortal words, “Un dildo dans mon appartement?!” Many people who watched the video thought she was overreacting and being a prude. However, the law is actually on the landlady’s side, since dildos are prohibited in rental accommodation.
This law dates back to 2005, when a woman had so many sex toys that their weight caused the bedroom floor of her rented flat to collapse, leading the Nationalist government of the time to introduce the aforementioned law.
Having said that, one loophole in the law is that you can use objects not meant to be used as dildos, so the landlord can’t do anything about your cucumbers or statuettes of Our Lady of Lourdes.
And that’s not the only strange rental law in Malta. Here are four others…
Access
The law states that a landlord can never enter a rented property without the knowledge and prior consent of the tenant. However, there is one exception to this rule, which is when the landlord wants to have a bath. In this case, they can come into your home and use the tub whenever they want, even if it is being used at the time. This also includes the use of your rubber duck, if you have one.
Deposit
Anyone who’s ever rented a flat knows that getting your deposit back can be a hassle. But did you know that the landlord can return your deposit in any currency of their choosing?
Recently this law was updated to include cryptocurrency. So the next time your landlord keeps half your deposit because you hammered a nail into the living room wall to hang a picture from, just count your blessings that he didn’t give you the other half in DogeCoin.
Alterations
On the subject of nails in walls, rental contracts usually stipulate that tenants are prohibited from making major alterations to a property. But if you live in a ground-floor flat or any other form of accommodation, you are legally allowed to dig up the floor if you suspect there may be treasure buried beneath. You also get to keep any treasure you find, so it might be time to invest in a metal detector. On the other hand, if you don’t find any treasure, the landlord can take anything you own to cover the cost of the damage.
One thing to keep in mind is that a car parked in an underground garage beneath your flat does not count as buried treasure.
Dispute resolution
If there’s one thing these occasional viral videos of arguments between landlords and tenants show, it’s that rental agreements aren’t always agreeable. And while most disputes are either settled amicably or through the courts in more serious cases, you should think twice about getting into a dispute if you’re a landlord or tenant in Mdina.
A law dating back to the time of the Knights of St John states that disagreements related to property rental in Malta’s old capital must be settled with a duel to the death.
Given that the law has not been updated since it was created in 1642, to this day duels must be carried out either with rapiers or flintlock pistols. The last duel took place in 2021, when landlord William Sant Cassia slew his tenant John Formosa, after the latter was found to be housing a hamster despite the contract stating that pets weighing more than 100 grams were not allowed.
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